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[17 Jan 2005|04:35pm] |
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my new live journal is cliffycakes87 so add me there.
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| right on the money |
[04 Jan 2005|10:26pm] |
 | You scored as Classic Rock.. Classic Rock.
Classic Rock. | | 100% | Punk and Pop Punk. | | 100% | Hardcore | | 92% | Indie Rock | | 79% | Britpop | | 75% | Indie | | 75% | Mainstream | | 42% | Industrial | | 38% | Ska | | 38% | Emo & More | | 38% | Hip Hop and Rap | | 25% | Country | | 17% | </td>
Music Recommendation created with QuizFarm.com |
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| ...Its never easy on your own... |
[06 Dec 2004|06:08pm] |
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aggravated |
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So I found out today that my uncle has cancer. I never thought it would make me as upset as I was when I found out about it. Its not like we are close I barely see the man at most I see him every four years. What bugs me the most is that we were supposed to see him for Thanksgiving this year but I being stupid decided I rather spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriends family then my own and made up every excuse in the book to get my parents to cancel their trip. I know that even though cancer doesn't have a cure there are still ways he could survive, however that is if he has money. See he doesn't he is very poor. He got a divorce a while back and has to pay child support because even though both kids are living with him he doesn't have legal custody of them. My aunt has full custody of them but they can't stand her. Also he is living in a one room apartment and is a handyman for a retirement home. That really isn't alot of money. And I'm not sure if I'm actually sorry for him or for my dad or if its because I'm starting to realize my own mortality.
I don't really have a strong faith in God if I actually have one. If there is one we haven't been on good terms in a while. My boyfriend and I go to church every sunday but I do it more for him then actually trying to establish a faith with God. Decartes says its better to believe in God and there not be one then to not and be wrong. I don't know if I agree with that. I'm not even sure how I truely feel about the subject I just don't want to get screwed over at the end. I know that doesn't sound nice but thats how most christians feel anyway so why try to sugar coat it?
I also found out that my cousin was pregnant. Two of my cousins were married so it didn't surprise me that one of them could be pregnant but I was wrong. Neither of them are having a baby my cousin that has an on again off again boyfriend that hates her father and has no respect for us at all is having a baby. When I found out I let out the biggest "Eww" in the entire world. I hope she does not marry this prick because if she does I will not go to the wedding. And since both of these are happening in the same state I'm thinking I'm going to have to go on a trip up North soon and winters up there are alot worse then they are here.
I'm such a huge bitch though because I worry about myself too much. I don't want to go visit either of them because I might not get to see my friends or boyfriend. And I worry about me getting hurt by my boyfriend dumping me. Its always about me. I wish for one day I could just take care of someone else and not see how it was eating up my time or what I could be doing instead. I'm so sick of who I am and how I treat people. I'm a horrible person.
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[03 Dec 2004|08:30pm] |
| You scored as Anarchist. Coochy choochy coo, what a cute little ANARCHIST we have here. You see everything as a means to an end, and that end is You. You don't understand why some saps do community service cause you wouldn't be caught dead picking up trash unless you were in an orange jumpsuit. You're also pretty angry at the world but are too self-concerned to do anything about it because you are an anarchist. Understanding this statement would practically kill you, Anarchist | | 85% | Buddhist | | 70% | Jewish | | 60% | Catholic | | 55% | Cult | | 50% | Christian | | 45% | </td>
Religion created with QuizFarm.com |
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| ...take it all back now... |
[28 Nov 2004|11:24pm] |
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Ashlee Simpson... sad I know |
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you are indigo #4B0082 | Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too.
Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz | </center
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| ...would you cry if I told you that I lied... |
[27 Nov 2004|01:00pm] |
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ecstatic |
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Wow, I haven't posted here in a looong time. I guess because I was afraid that if I posted anything that has happened that things between me and Sam would be over. Which is usually how things work with me. I spent Thanksgiving with his family up in Washington DC. It was really good, his mom's corn stuff was awesome. My mom made corn last night and it wasn't as good. Today is my parents 23rd anniversary and Sam and I are going out with them tonight because for some reason they don't want to spend time alone. My mom asked me pratically begged me the other night to join them.
I can really tell Sam cares about me and that makes me really happy. At thanksgiving dinner we had to go around the table and he said he was thankful for me. That was it! I was so surprised he didn't say family or health or the towtrucks. And he is also coming with us tonight even though he really doesn't like my dad all that much. He does alot of stuff for me and I'm really really happy. I'm so glad that I went to the junkyard with Danny and Jackie that one time. :)
Thats really it for my love life. As for friends I haven't really seen Jackie or Jess in awhile. I went and played pool with Jess, Pat, Steve, Aaron and Sam last night but I really didn't get to spend that much time with Jess because every time Pat finished his turn he would come over and make out with her until he had to play again. And this is the second time Pat has hit me with a ball. The first time I hung out with Sam he hit me square in the face with a volleyball and last night he hit me in the leg with the three ball. He couldn't get the cue ball to stay on the table. And for some reason last night neither could Sam and he is very good at pool. I miss Jackie the most though cause we would do something at least once a month before I met Sam and then on Saturdays we would go up to Danny's and now we don't do any of that. I miss Saturday nights at Danny's. We really should do them again.
Schools okay I guess. I got 5 A's and 3 B's on my report card. I'm not doing that well in AP Euro and I hope I don't sink below a C but right now I'm still hanging on with a B. School is boring though I feel like I'm missing out on the real world when I'm there.
I'm still working at Silver Blade and I asked for more hours after thanksgiving break. I need it now because I got a car. We were supposed to go to New York for thanksgiving but I didn't want to and at the last minute my parents used the money from that to buy my dad a new car. I got his old car which I think he isn't happy about now cause he doesn't like his new car as much as his old one. Oh well...
I got lost yesterday driving home from Owingsmills Mall with my sister. I got off on to 795 on my way home. I then got on to 695 and took it to 29 and took that to 70 and got off on 40 eventually I ended up home but at the time I didn't know what routes I was on and called Sam up freaking out and my sister was screaming. It was a good time. We were lost for over an hour.
I enjoyed my four day weekend but now I'm looking forward to the christmas holidays. I'm done my christmas and birthday shopping for my mom and my dad. I still have two things to get for Sam and Jess and one thing for my Sister and Brittany. I'm not sure what to get Jackie other wise I would get her something but I haven't seen her in about two months. :(
I need to go get dressed for today. Sam's coming over in 3 hours and I know thats alot of time but I got things I have to do.
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| ...you know me better then I know myself... |
[20 Sep 2004|11:12pm] |
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bouncy |
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Love Line |
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My work is finally giving me more hours! I'm so happy about that! My seventeenth birthday was yesterday and I got a cell phone so I'm mobile people! Finally after a year of Jessica nagging my parents to get me a cell phone they did. Sam went to dinner with my family to an italian resturant. If you don't know Sam well he doesn't like my dad which is understandable my dad isn't so nice to Sam and Sam doesn't like cheese and so he doesn't like italian. I made it up to him though ;).
This weekend is gonna be crazy I have to work friday and on Saturday we are going down to the Inner Harbor with Jess, Jason who is Sam's friend and Jason's girlfriend. I hope Pat can come but he probably won't get off work like he didn't last Saturday. Sunday I have to work and then I'm going over to Sam's for dinner and its a family fuction type of thing so I'm kind of nervous.
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[16 Sep 2004|05:09pm] |
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bored |
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"Float On" Modest Mouse |
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Wow this is the most I have been on the computer in months. At first my computer broke down but after we got it fixed I just really didn't care about it anymore. So alot has happened which is awesome. I have been spending more time at Jackie's not what Jackie and I had planned. We planned to hang out more but I'm just at her house more.... I'm with there with Sam hanging out with Pat and Jessica most of the time. But at least I get to see Jackie more.
So I started dating this guy Sam who is Jackie's older brother Jim's friend. I met him in like May when Jackie and I spent the day alone and then when Danny came to hang out we went to a Junkyard and we had to call Jim to come up to help him and Wendell get a car door off a car. Well apparently Sam was asking about me and I really didn't think much of it. Then the last weekend of August Danny was having a house warming party which was also Jackie and Lily's joint birthday party. So we work it out that Jackie's parents who are going to the party too will drive me down there when I get off work. Well I manage to get off early so I call Jackie's mom while I'm at work. She told me the plans have changed and that Jim and his girlfriend and Sam were coming to get me. And I was like ookay... and thought it was weird then she told me that they were trying to set me up with Sam. Well I walk back into the Salon and start to sweep up hair when I look at Jen's customer and realize thats Sam. Jen walks outside with Sam and I can see Jim talking to them. When Jen comes back in I ask her if it was Sam and she said yes and I tell her why I asked and Jen tells Jim. Jim thinks its hysterical and later calls Sam as he is leaving to tell him. But I had alot of fun hanging out with all of them and I gave Sam my number. He calls me the next day and invites me to go swimming with him and Jim, Jim's girlfriend, Pat (Jim's younger brother) and his friend Randy. And like for three weeks straight I saw Sam everyday. Yesterday was the first day I didn't get to see him but I was sick and he was fixing up his basement so we don't have to bug Jackie's family everytime we want to hang out somewhere. He called me later but I had fallen asleep. I'll call him when he gets off.
Sam is a really great guy though and I have alot of fun with him so I'm really happy. Oh yeah and I set my bestfriend up with Pat later and it worked out really good. Its cool cause we can all hang out now. :)
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[01 Aug 2004|07:01pm] |
YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU LIVE ON) I never had a pet... so I don't get to do this one
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE SNACK FOOD + GRANDFATHERS FIRST NAME) Combo William
YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT + FAVORITE RESTAURANT) Paper Pargo
EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot) Hazel Morocco
SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied) Katie Marriottsville
"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name) K. Cli
ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen) Coco Sprite
DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School) Kittie Liberty
BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink) Pretzel Vodka
SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived) Noel Wilton
ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician) Reeses Lazzard
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[27 Jul 2004|11:16pm] |
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This is two weeks ago but it really struck me today because I allowed myself to watch the preview in full. I'm sitting at home watching the opening scenes for six feet under and I'm disqusted. I feel like I'm going to puke. I wouldn't watch the episode from last week because I knew what would happen. I would turn on the show towards the end and know that David was going to get hurt. I hadn't seen the previews so I didn't know ahead of time but I could scense it and I would turn it. Well now seeing the previews I'm so angry that people are actually like that. You shouldn't ever have to beg for your life. That is so horrible it makes me want to cry. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't hurt or have the same feelings we do. They are not below us and I can't stand people that treat gay people like the scum of the earth. The are people just like us. I have such a problem with prejudce people. And where I live I have to deal with alot of them. God I can't stand this shit anymore...
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| ... it's my life... |
[01 Jul 2004|10:43pm] |
FILL THIS OUT USING SONG TITLES FROM ONE BAND...
I'm going with No Doubt
1. Are you male or female?: Just A Girl 2. Describe yourself: Trapped in a box 3. How do some people feel about you?: Big Distraction 4. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Everythings Wrong 5. How do you feel about yourself: Hateful 6. Where would you rather be?: Greener Pastures 7. Describe what you want: Simple kind of life 8. Describe how you live: Hella Good
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| ...get back to where we lasted... |
[29 Jun 2004|10:38pm] |
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cranky |
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Loveline |
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I really have no idea why I'm here. this isn't like oh I'm gonna kill myself type of entry... I just don't know what I want to do with my life. I mean for the longest time I wanted to be a writer or journalist and then I wanted pshycologist. I dunno I mean I still want to do those things I'm just like afriad for the future. I mean will I have enough money? Will I get married? I hate these questions and they just keep popping up.
I really hate having this introspective mind sometimes because it keeps me up at night and I hate bugging myself with questions like these. I also feel like whenever I go to talk about this to someone else I feel like I'm whining about it. I feel like I'm whining about my whole life....
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[29 Jun 2004|08:53pm] |
Okay so I just wanted to let everyone know I got my background from Pixelgirlpresents by Shana Victor and my icon from evil cuppy cake because I don't want anyone to think I just took it. Plus my old background was boring me. I want to thank Lily for showing me that stuff :)
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| ...when I go driving I stay in my lane... |
[25 Jun 2004|04:21pm] |
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hopeful |
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"Jane says" Jane's Addiction |
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Alright so I just got a letter in the mail saying once I renew my learners permit that if I wait 6 months I don't have to take my drivers test. The MVA will send me a card making my permit my full liscense and then when I go to renew that thats when I get a real liscense card. OH I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I took a practice permit test at Summit to see if I remember everything and I just passed it by a .005 of a point. So yeah I'm happy. I hope I do well. I'm going Monday to renew it.
I got Sixteen another book by Megan McCafferty. and kitten heel sandles. So all in all my day has been pretty good. I still have to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully things go well there because if they don't then I'm gonna quit.
JANES ADDICTION BROKE UP AGAIN I'm not a big fan of theres but I just thought I'd let you all know that. Perry is leaving the band but the others want to go on or something like that...
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| ... my coco... |
[24 Jun 2004|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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OMG... after so much shit I have felt so good. I went to the Carnival with Lily, Josh and Jackie. We had so much fun even though Josh puked. We went on the tilt a whirl or as Lily renamed it the tilt a gasm. Hahaha... yeah the carnie was checking us out the whole time. And the last time we got on we almost didn't because they were full but he moved people around so we could all sit together. I saw so many friends and I had a blast.
I got my report card. Unweighted GPA 3.75 so I'm happy with that. And I got my schedule.
Semister one A Day
period one : Physics - Durkin period two : Business Math - Giffhorn (yes!!! he is the best teacher ever) period three: AP Euro - Regan period four: Sociology - Bobbitt ( brownie points she loves me and I have her for homeroom)
B Day
period one : Brit Lit - Farley (goddamnit I should kill myself now) period two : Intro to Analysis - Kohr (ugh... not again... to much homework) period three : Psych 1 - Bangle period four: Health 2 - Murray (she doesn't even know who I am)
S2
A day same same same period four: Psych 2 - Regan
B day same same period three: Ancient Medieval -Wamsley (my most favorite teacher ever) period four: Creative Writing - Flemming (he hates me for who I hang out with and he yammers on and on so we get jack shit done)
ahh well... I better be off.... I need to find out what I'm doing tomorrow
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